Today we have ten one liners from Steven
Wright, who was born on this date in 1955.
- Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
- If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
- I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
- I'm going to get an MRI to find out whether I have claustrophobia.
- I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!
- It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
- When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
- All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.
What happens when superheroes get together for Christmas! My latest novel. Perfect if you want to lose yourself in a book after Christmas lunch!
A Very Variant Christmas
Last year, Jade and Gloria were embroiled in a bitter conflict to win back their throne and their ancestral home. This year, Queen Jade and Princess Gloria want to host the biggest and best Christmas party ever in their palace. They invite all their friends to come and bring guests. Not even the birth of Jade's heir just before Christmas will stop them.
The guest list includes most of Britain's complement of super-powered crime-fighters, their families and friends. What could possibly go wrong?
Gatecrashers, unexpected arrivals, exploding Christmas crackers and a kidnapping, for starters.
Far away in space, the Constellations, a cosmic peacekeeping force, have suffered a tragic loss. They need to recruit a new member to replace their dead colleague. The two top candidates are both at Jade and Gloria's party. The arrival of the recruitment delegation on Christmas Eve is a surprise for everyone; but their visit means one guest now faces a life-changing decision.
Meanwhile, an alliance of the enemies of various guests at the party has infiltrated the palace; they hide in the dungeon, plotting how best to get rid of the crime-fighters and the royal family once and for all. Problem is, they all have their own agendas and differences of opinion on how to achieve their aims.
Not to mention that this year, the ghosts who walk the corridors of the palace on Christmas Eve will be as surprised by the living as the living are by them.
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