16th April: Spike Milligan

Born in 1918, Spike Milligan would have been 97 today. Here are 10 of his jokes.

1. A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
2. Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
3. I can speak Esperanto like a native.
4. All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
5. I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
6. Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
7. Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.
8. How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
9. I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
10. We don't have a plan so nothing can go wrong.