10th March: Telephone Day

To celebrate telephone day, here are 10 telephone jokes:

1. Telephoning 0800 1800 didn’t get me through to National Rail Enquiries - turns out I was trying to ring the opening hours.
2. A bloke keeps ringing me and singing Stand and Deliver down the line. I keep telling him he’s got the wrong number but he’s adamant.
3. What do you get if you dial 666? The Australian police.
4. What do you get if you dial 18076493280? A blister on your finger.
5. Sometimes I wonder how long I would be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them.
6. One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.
7. A man makes a phone call. he dials, waits a moment and put the receiver down. "She must be out with the dog," he said. "I didn't hear him bark."
8. Ask not for whom the telephone bell tolls. If thou art in the bath, it tolls for thee.
9. For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless chord.
10. Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you. Fran Leibowitz